nu, it's almost xmas, so who cares?

it's getting to be that time of year again, folks. it's not even thanksgiving and the xmas commercials have already hit the tv. not a problem in my world--not yet, anyway. sure i can stomach the images of the ubiquitous green bean casserole, the images of trees being lit up all over the the tv, and the random selections of decorations set up all over the stores. not oppressive, not offensive.

i'm even past the point of being annoyed about receiving the yearly invitation to xmas dinner at the home of one of our relatives. (and no, i don't know if we're going yet, but if we do, i'm sure we'll be stopping at mendy's first....) this actually used to kill me, back in college, having to sit through dinner with the family, while a great big (and beautiful) tree beckoned us with promises of gifts wrapped in chanukah paper (my mom was annoyed that our gifts would be wrapped in xmas paper, go mom....), candy canes, and other random goodies awaited the moment that all would gather together and open everything. of course, there was the electric menorah in the window, a few scattered dreidles, and some chocolate gelt on the coffee table so the jewish side wouldn't feel "left out." these small tokens probably found themselves in a pretty confusing environment, as did i, the girl who for some reason owned a stocking as a little kid and remembers opening a few small gifts one xmas morning in her (jewish) parents' house. among the dreidles and gelt was also a plate of latkes, apple sauce and sour cream. another plate held small sausage links that had been pinned to the turkey. on a small board sat a few different types of cheese, crackers and a cutting knife. year after year it was always the same, although the latkes didn't come until much later, possibly when i hit those college years--the time of self-exploration, you know, when you realize that your jewish heritage is more than just a matzah ball and some jarred borscht, it is also a latke, kugel and schav.

dinner was always a meal of which (hopefully) everyone could partake: turkey, sausage stuffing (which then renders even the most kosher of kosher turkeys treyfe...), macaroni and cheese (are those real bits of bacon in there?), possibly a lasagna with meat, a salad, candied yams, tasteless vegetables of some random sort--well, you get the idea. lots of things a kosher gal couldn't eat. but i wasn't offended. i only became offended when people other than the hosts of the meal made a big deal out of why i wasn't eating the food. it was never my intention to draw attention to my eating or lack thereof, but people who should have known better would make comments until sooner or later, the whole table was aware of my eating situation.

after the meal, the gifts, the dessert, and the goodbyes, my folks would then pack us into the car and we'd drive off to ozone park and howard beach where we'd drive around looking at the xmas lights. i used to wonder why we didn't drive around looking at menorahs....

but now i'm an adult and i don't feel threatened by xmas, or by other people's observance of the holiday, even in my own (strange) family. when i walk into department stores and see chanukah displays, i actually feel kind of like, "well what'd they go and do that for?" so yes, married with kids, a dog, and an impending move to israel, xmas is really no longer a big deal. if we go this year to our random relative, it'll be like any other family dinner--we won't eat what's served, we'll be insulted by the extreme leftist politics being spewed at us, and someone will criticize us for something we did, didn't do, thought about, or read in passing. just like any other day.

but, that's not the reason for this post.

as i said before, i don't feel that my jewishness is at all threatened by others' holiday celebrations. during ramadan, i don't feel the need to fast because i might miss out on something the muslims are doing. during easter, i don't paint eggs (although, i seem to remember doing that at one point when i was a kid, hmm...). i don't wipe black schmutz on my head on ash wednesday to be like the catholics. and no, i certainly don't set up a "chanukah bush" so that my kids won't feel like they're "missing out" on xmas.

so why, oh why then, does the non-odox synagogue out here, feel the need to host a holiday party (and that's what it's being touted as) on sunday night, december 24th? now, that could make sense if that day also coincided with chanukah, in which case, the party would be called a chanukah party. but, december 24th this year is actually after chanukah is over. it is also xmas eve. and of course, there is no reason why jews cannot party on xmas eve, actually we should, since these days we don't have to hide in our chicken coops hoping that there won't be a pogrom. but seriously, if a jewish party is being held on xmas eve, which is not also a jewish holiday (it's not even rosh chodesh(the new month)) then should it really be deemed a "holiday" party? whose holiday is being celebrated? and you can't tell me that during chanukah, a holiday of eight nights, there was absolutely no possible time to throw this party.

what i don't get is why there is a need to do anything at all. so, it's xmas. big deal. i'll do what i always do every night of the week. since it's a sunday, we'll probably spend it in monsey or at least either go out with the kids for dinner or lunch there, and then, we'll give the kids their baths, get them to bed, and veg out for a while before bed. possibly we'll have tea or hot chocolate, and i'll have to go back down to feed the dog or wash dishes. i might even do a load of laundry, or two, or ten. but i won't feel the need to acknowledge to myself or my children that it's xmas because it won't be a big deal to me. if we go to my relative's house the following day, i'll just explain that we're going to be with the family and that so and so has a tree to celebrate her holiday, just as we have a menorah to celebrate ours, or shabbos candles or a havdalah set, or a sukkah or whatever. and that'll be that and it's no big deal.

i mean, seriously folks, when was the last time you saw christians erecting a shack to eat in around sukkot because they felt bad that they didn't have one too? or the muslims wearing tennis sneakers with their suits on yom kippur because they felt left out?

enough of this, it's not even thanksgiving.

enjoy your turkey. or whatever you do this time of year.