crimes of purim

...and just as the nbn officials are about to stamp adam and bec's visas, a phone call is received from the united states post office.

nbn: may i help you?

postmaster: yes, i'm calling regarding adam and bec and their aliyah.

nbn: yes?

postmaster: i believe that they are definitely a menace to society.

nbn: could you explain that please?

postmaster: apparently, when bec went to the post office today, she put one of the forbidden to mail items into packages that were being mailed.

nbn: oh?

postmaster: yes. bec mailed three shalach manot packages today, one to new jersey, one to monsey, and one to brooklyn since she wouldn't be able to hand deliver those packages on purim day. aside from the requisite food items, she also included box drinks, grape juice to be exact.

nbn: GRAPE JUICE???

postmaster: yes, and we just know that somewhere along the way these three box drinks will void their contents all over EVERYTHING, causing quite a mess.

nbn: GRAPE JUICE??? was it purple or white?

postmaster: purple. but really, that's not the point--

nbn: why would anyone put purple grape juice in the mail? that's reason enough to--

postmaster: to not allow them to make aliyah?

nbn: to put them on kedem's top ten most wanted list for the crime of grape juice stupidity. if they pulled this in israel, we'd stick them in a turkish prison.

postmaster: a turkish prison? in israel?

nbn: we call it "gaza." very similar to the movie "midnight express."

postmaster: i see. well, we may have to arrest them for wrecking the mail.

nbn: that's fine. if you extradite them here, we'll have a cell waiting for them.

postmaster: and a happy hamentashen to you for all of your help.

nbn: yes, on behalf of israel, i wish you a joyous purim.